Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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