She said her name was "party"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
