So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
