did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
