I have demons in me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
