how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
