Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
