all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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