My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
