i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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