If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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