Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Everything about him screamed your future.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
