You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
