I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Randomize
