Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
