so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
