You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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