"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
