I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
