yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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