Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she told me i tasted like america
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
