pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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