I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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