Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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