Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
