Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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