Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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