ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
