i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
