She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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