do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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