just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You took a bar mat shot.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
