Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
as a side note pls kill me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
