considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
