I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
