if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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