My pussy is not your playground.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
