no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
