i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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