"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
