Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
