honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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