If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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