All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
