OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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