she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
