note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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