The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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