Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
