fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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