Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
