u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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