Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
