you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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