Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
