He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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