just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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