i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
