you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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