32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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