i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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