I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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