We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
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I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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