Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
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She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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