when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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