Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
farters have to be the big spoon...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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