I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
