Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
