One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
