"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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