I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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