our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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