Buhtt sex?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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